Westward
by CrazyPlateLady
Summary: Whether to improve their future or escape their past, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are all headed to Oregon in hopes of finding a better life at the end of their journey. Historical AU.
1. No Turning Back

**A/N: About seven (!) years ago, I used to frequent the Friends fanfic page. I recently revisited this account and deleted the incriminating evidence of my awful and naïve writing. However, there was an unfinished story of mine that had promise and this is my attempt at re-writing and (hopefully) finishing it. I still don't make any claims about being a fabulous writer, but I'm enjoying the process.**

**This is a Mondler-centric AU story set during the peak of the Oregon Trail. Hopefully the relationships between everyone explain themselves in this chapter. I tried to be accurate in regards to historical fact as much as possible.**

_**April 1846.**_

Chandler Bing stood up and stretched, running a hand through his hair. His sparkling blue eyes searched the mass of people surrounding him. He glanced at the town to the East.

Independence, Missouri.

He was on the verge of the long journey towards Oregon; one that he knew wouldn't be easy and hoped would be worth it. He looked at the bundle of letters by his side. Even if all the things his best friend had written him about the West were exaggerated, the prospect of their reunion and staking his claim on a piece of land propelled him onward.

He shook himself from thoughts of the future and walked around to the back of his farm wagon, patting one of the oxen that stood tied and grazing. He leaned in and spoke.

"Jess, I'm going to go talk to some people and hopefully find us some traveling companions. Will you be alright while I'm gone?"

His wife turned at the sound of his voice and smiled at his muscular frame filling the opening in the canvas.

"Of course, I'll be fine."

Pieces of strawberry blond hair had come loose from her bun, framing her honey colored eyes. Chandler grinned back at her. Sometimes he still couldn't believe his luck; that he was her husband. They married just under a year ago, days shy of Chandler's 20th birthday.

As he turned to leave, she called out a reminder. "Chandler, make sure some other women join us. We're going to need help when this little one arrives." She looked up at him as she lovingly rested her slender hand on her rounded abdomen.

"I will," he nodded as he walked towards the center of the encampment.

They were the reason Chandler had dreamt of a plot of fertile land to call his own. The reason he wanted a better life. The reason he spent three years worth of savings on supplies to carry them across the country. Jess and his unborn baby were the reason for everything he did. He was determined to provide his family with the best he possibly could and if you listened to anything people were saying these days, the best was out West in California or Oregon.

After several minutes of scanning the surrounding wagons, he spotted two couples by a makeshift cooking fire. Three kids played in the dirt nearby. He approached with a courteous wave,

"Excuse me. Hello. My name is Chandler Bing. My wife and I along with ..."

"Chandler! Chandler!"

He was interrupted by a small, familiar voice. He apologetically smiled at the family in front of him and turned to kneel face-to-face with Becky Tribbiani. The six-year-old's dark brown braids were coming loose and dirt was smudged across her cheek.

"I lost dolly!"

Chandler gently took her hand. "Do you remember where you had her last?"

She shook her head violently.

"Well, you know what? How about you go ask Aunt Jess to help you look and if you still can't find her after that, I'll come help you. Okay?"

Becky nodded with enthusiasm and ran back towards their wagon. Chandler's gaze followed her until he was sure that she met up with Jess.

It had been one year since Joseph Tribbiani, his best friend, moved to Oregon. Joey wrote Chandler constantly, asking him and Jess to come join him his soon as they could. But he also asked that when they did, that they bring along his little sister Becky.

His mother, Mary Tribbiani, had 8 children. Their father ran off for good when Joey was thirteen, although his presence prior to that was unpredictable at best. The children were often left to fend for themselves and Joey, being both the oldest and the only boy, helped raise his sisters.

He loved them all dearly, but he and Becky had a special relationship. He was more like a father to her than a brother. He knew he could help his mother by taking care of his youngest sister, but he was unable to bring her with him when he left the year before. So now, as per his request, she was traveling with Chandler and Jess.

"I'm sorry about that. Like I was saying before, my wife and Becky and I are all headed to Oregon. If you folks are headed the same place, I was wondering if you might want to travel together?"

The young man with jet black hair replied, reaching out to shake Chandler's hand. "We are headed to Oregon ourselves. My name is Henry Hale."

He motioned to his wife, a brown haired woman with grey eyes. "This is Catherine and those are our children, James, Abigail, and Ruth." One glance had already told Chandler as much; they were all carbon copies of their parents.

Henry gestured to the man with the graying hair, "This is my father, Thomas Hale." Thomas stepped forward with a kind smile and quick handshake.

"And my mother, Caroline. We've also already agreed to travel with another group; a young man and his fiancée, Ross Geller and Rachel Green, and Mr. Geller's younger sister, Monica."

"Sounds great; the more in our caravan the better."

Thomas spoke up, "When were you planning on leaving, Mr. Bing?"

"Please, call me Chandler. I would say within a week or two. I think the grass is long enough to graze on, so we should be safe. I am still waiting for my horse to be shod at the livery in Independence, but I'm actually headed over there soon to check on it."

"Then it sounds like we have a plan, Chandler. How about tonight you and your family come over here to our camp for some supper? We can get to know each other and ya'll can meet the Gellers."

"Great idea. Thank you, Thomas." He nodded towards Caroline and Catherine. "My wife will sure be glad to see some female companions. It was nice meeting you folks."

Upon his return to their wagon, he found Becky asleep, sandwiched amongst their belongings, with Dolly clutched firmly in her hand. Jess was sitting outside mending a pair of his pants.

"I see you found Dolly. All the excitement wore her out?"

"Sure did. Can you blame her?"

Chandler laughed and shook his head, as he perched on the edge of the wagon. He felt like a giddy schoolboy himself.

"I found some people to travel with; an older couple, their son and his family. We're going to eat supper at their camp tonight."

Jess came over and sat by his side. "Then they sound wonderful already; cooking over the fire makes my back ache." Chandler drew her into his lap and rested his hands on her stomach.

"How's the baby today?"

"Good. Not moving as much as last week, but still making himself known," she smiled and sighed. Chandler massaged her shoulders and gently began kissing the nape of her neck. His hot breath was toying with her senses.

"Chandler!" She gave him a pointed look as she stood up. His face was a picture of innocence. "People can see us."

He laughed and reached up to push a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I want the whole world to know how much I love my wife. What's wrong with that?"

He leaned in to kiss her, but she moved out of his reach.

"You always have known just what to say, Mr. Bing." He nodded seriously in agreement. She laughed, modesty forgotten, and kissed him.

Pulling away, he glanced back at Becky's sleeping figure, "You probably should rest a little while too, Jess. You need to keep your strength up and our trip has barely begun." His hand found hers and he squeezed it tightly. "I'm going to go see if Flash is ready. I'll be back soon."

He helped her up into the wagon, grabbed his hat, and headed towards Independence.

* * *

Monica Geller browsed the shelves of the growing mercantile, waiting while her brother loaded supplies onto their wagon. She was a striking beauty; her pale smooth skin showed her wealthy upbringing, delicate curls of ebony hair cascaded down her back, and her eyes were unusually blue. But they also betrayed her sadness, her loneliness. She had the look of woman who's searching for something to make her whole. An elegant silk and lace dress lay on her tiny frame as her fingers browsed the plain wool clothing that would soon adorn her body.

"Monica, are you ready?"

She nodded, picking out two plain and practical dresses from the selection. She was grateful to finally be free from the finery of her upbringing in the East.

The voice belonged to her brother Ross, a handsome man with dark hair and eyes. As always, at his side stood Rachel, his fiancée. Rachel was also Monica's best friend; the three of them grew up together.

Rachel's golden brown hair was pulled up in an attractive bun and her blue eyes were focused on Ross. She, on the other hand, was less than thrilled at the prospects of roughing it on the trail, leaving behind all the galas and balls in Pittsburgh. But love will make you do anything and Ross wanted, well, needed to move to Oregon.

Purchases in hand, the trio headed out into the street, preparing to camp for the night in the fields. There were people swarming all over Independence; preparing to set out for a better life.

Monica laughed sarcastically to herself. _Anything would be better than what I'm leaving behind._ She climbed into the wagon beside Rachel and closed her eyes. There was no turning back now.

**AN: I hope people are interested in this story. If you have any feedback, please leave a review!**


	2. Jumping Off

**AN:** Thank you Cybermals for your support! Everyone else, I hate to beg, but if you have anything at all to say about this story, I'd really love to hear it .. so please review!

Chandler weaved in and out of the crowd, leading his chestnut horse, Flash, back to his wagon. He glanced over at a tall man saddling his horse and stopped short, searching his brain for recognition.

"Daniel?"

The man turned around looking for the source of the call. Chandler waved. As they came face to face, Chandler no longer had a doubt in his mind. That friendly, crooked smile could only belong to one person.

"Chandler?" His voice was full of disbelief. "I can't believe it's you!" The two men hugged. "It's been 8 years."

"You're right! Joey and I thought we might never see you again after you and your folks left town. How have you been? What are you doing in Independence?"

"I'm as good as I can be. I'm working as a guide for the trail. Been back and forth about 5 times now. Although I've been thinking of maybe getting a head of cattle, ranching for a while. "

"Sure sounds like you got the excitement you were always hoping for. I'm glad to hear you're doing well."

"What about you? And Joey?"

"Well, I'm married," He smiled at Daniel's shock. "And we have a baby on the way." He again watched wonderment cross Daniel's face.

"Hard to believe that you're so grown up," he laughed.

"And Joey is living in Oregon. It's actually why part of the reason we're headed out there. He convinced us to join him."

"Well, you folks got a guide yet? Or you planning on going it yourselves?"

"We've already got some traveling companions, three other couples, but none of them have made the trip before. I'd be happy to hire you if you're willing to go with us?"

"No need to bother with pay. I'll gladly join you. We have a lot to catch up on."

Daniel had always been generous, even as a young boy. "Then it's settled," Chandler said shaking his hand. "Come on, I'll take you to meet my wife and our new friends."

Leading their horses side by side, the two men talked and laughed, recounting a brighter, more carefree past.

* * *

That night, everyone met at the Hale's camp, and the chemistry among them was instant. Each one's mind was at ease knowing for the next 5 or 6 months they would be in good company. Becky and Ruth had gone off to play with their dolls as soon as their plates were clean. The men talked excitedly about the crops that would flourish on their land. The women bonded over the shared hardship of leaving friends and family behind.

They were to leave by the end of the week; the promise of Oregon was closer than ever before.

* * *

Even before the sun had risen, it was a traffic jam of wagons, people and animals. It seemed that all of humanity had decided to leave on the same late April morning. Chandler called to Ross, trying to keep their wagons and livestock in line. The children walked alongside, skipping and whooping, excited to be leaving at last.

Finally, their wagon train began to move at a steady pace, as it separated itself from the other caravans and camped immigrants. Daniel rode ahead, leading the way with his own wagon. Once they were three or four miles outside of Independence, he slowed to check on everyone.

"Let's give the animals a break and stop to eat," he called out while motioning to the side of the rutted path. The rest of the party agreed and set their horses, mules, and oxen to graze. Daniel glanced at Ross's team.

"I think you folks are going to unload some of your belongings."

Ross looked over at Rachel's distressed look.

"You sure, Daniel?"

"I'm sorry Ross. I've seen it before, many people don't realize how overloaded their wagons are. It's too hard on the animals and we need them to last as long as possible."

Ross nodded and began to discuss what could be left behind with Rachel and Monica.

Chandler and Henry surveyed the land around them. It was clear that other travelers had the same problem. The ground was littered with all sorts of odds and ends, even a cast iron stove.

Monica detached herself from the conversation and eyed Chandler from a distance. She had only known him for a matter of days, but he had made quite an impression on her.

He wasn't like anyone she knew back home. Unlike the men her mother usually selected for her, he lacked an over-inflated ego and a glib tone. He was sincere and humble, at times even self-deprecating. He had an ease about him; in the way he moved among the group, talking and laughing with everyone.

She could feel the warmth rise in her cheeks when he spoke to her or looked her way, her heart felt lighter when he was near, and she cursed herself for not being able to control either of these things.

During the past few days, she often caught herself studying his sandy brown hair, the small wrinkles around his endless blue eyes or his arms that were tanned and toned from working outside. She loathed herself.

How could she fall for a married man?

After a quick lunch, they set off again. Rachel looked mournfully after her leather trunk and a small assortment of furniture. The wind began to blow, the dust surrounding them, stinging in their eyes and lungs. It was slow going and it was only the beginning.

* * *

By nightfall, the group was weary, not yet accustomed to walking so many miles in one day. With the wagons circled around their campsite, they made their beds on the ground; all thankful for the light of the full moon.

Chandler sat studying a map with Daniel, with Becky asleep in his arms. Monica was opposite them, swiftly braiding Abigail's hair into two plaits. The ten-year old had quickly found a mentor and idol in Monica and was constantly asking about her life back East.

"Monica, have you ever had a suitor?"

In spite of herself, Monica smiled.

"I've had a few …"

"Why didn't you marry one of them?"

"Oh Abigail. That's a pretty long story and it's getting late. We need to be up before sunrise."

"Will you tell me tomorrow?"

"I don't know about that, but I promise I will tell you the whole story someday."

"Okay. As long as you promise," Abigail replied as she stood to go join her parents. Leaning in, she whispered, "You should marry Daniel. He's been looking at you all night." Slightly louder she muttered, "I wish a boy would look at me that way."

Monica blushed and stole a look across the fire at Daniel. He was sort of handsome. Maybe he was the distraction she needed, the person she was looking for.

Chandler glanced up and met her gaze. He gave her a small smile that sent shivers down her spine. Well, the least she could do was try to get to know Daniel, and then maybe her infatuation with Chandler would cease.

* * *

The next two weeks passed by rather uneventfully. The emigrants quickly fell into a routine; up before sunrise, yoke the team of oxen, eat breakfast, and then travel until about 6 p.m., usually stopping only for lunch.

Occasionally, they stopped at abandoned wagons to scavenge for supplies, although Daniel warned them to stay away from the makeshift graves that sprouted from the ground in clusters. "It was probably Cholera," he said.

Jess, being pregnant, was the only adult who ever rode in the wagon. Chandler had tried to make it as comfortable for her as possible, but the constant shaking and rocking on the rutted path wore on her. She was always exhausted, but tried her best to appear upbeat for Chandler's sake. His worry for her condition surrounded him like a cloud and in the evening, he often wandered restlessly around their campsite, attempting to stay busy with odd tasks.

One night, as he was searching for some firewood, he came across Monica sitting alone atop a nearby hill.

"Are you hiding from someone out here?" He asked playfully.

Monica smiled weakly. "Of course not." _Yeah. From you. And Daniel. And my brother and his fiancée._ One she wanted, but she could not have. The other wanted her, but she could not reciprocate. And the lovebirds? Well, she was tired of being their constant third wheel. "Well, I guess I just needed a little space."

Chandler came to sit next to her; looking up at the endless night sky around them.

"Abigail is quite a talker, eh? All the kids have taken a liking to you; Becky is sure smitten."

Monica smiled at the compliment. "Oh no, it's not Abigail. I suppose I just wanted some space to think."

"Well, I don't want to intrude," He moved to stand.

"No. Stay. You should sit for a minute. You don't rest enough."

Chandler lay down on the ground, hands behind his head, and shot her an impish grin.

"Is this more like it?"

She willed her racing heart to slow itself down. "It's an improvement."

"Tell me Monica, why are you going to Oregon? What does the West hold in store for you?"

She sighed. Where to begin? With her mother's disapproval, her broken engagement, her brother's scandal … there were plenty of reasons to leave home. But what was going to happen when they got there? She hadn't planned that far.

Chandler picked up on her unease. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. You don't need to tell me anything you don't want to," he said as he sat back up.

Monica looked over, their eyes locking briefly. "No need to apologize. I was considering the answer. To be honest, I'm not sure what's in Oregon for me. I just … needed to come."

"I'm sure Ross and Rachel appreciate you joining them. Plus I bet your Ma is happy to see her children sticking together."

"That would be the day. My mother didn't want me to go. She has never wanted me to do anything, really. Well, anything outside the bounds of what she considered to be acceptable socialite behavior."

Monica could feel the words rising up and pouring out of her. The notion of being embarrassed was smothered by the relief that came with speaking her thoughts aloud.

"My parents always doted on Ross. His every whim was instantly fulfilled throughout our childhood. He could do no wrong. I, on the other hand, was constantly scolded for being unladylike, impudent, unruly, foolish …"

She grew louder with each word; lost to her surroundings. He put his hand on her shoulder and his touch brought her back to earth. She looked up into his eyes, seeing that for once, someone was truly listening to her.

"I tried to please her, really. But nothing was enough. I was never pretty enough. My hair was unbecoming or my dress didn't suit me. I either spoke too much or too little. My needlework wasn't neat enough. I read too much. My ambitions were not suitable for a proper lady. The list is endless. I grew up firmly believing the only thing my mother was capable of saying to me was some form of a reprimand." She could feel the tears threatening to spill over her dark lashes and for once she didn't try to stop them. "All I wanted was for her to be proud of me. To look at me the way she looks at Ross."

"And your father?"

"Father was always kinder; allowing me certain freedoms and encouraging my interests. But in our household, Mother's word was law. He wouldn't blatantly oppose her, in matters of my upbringing or anything else. It's actually funny, for all her talk, we're more alike than she realizes. She certainly is not one to passively allow someone else to take control. Yet, I was expected to become some man's trophy wife, to sit still and not speak, while he made my choices for me? I want a partner and a friend, not a master."

"Mon, I promise there is someone out there who will be those things for you. For starters, us county boys certainly want our women made of stronger stuff than the woman you're describing. And whatever your Mama told you, forget it. She's the foolish one. You are beautiful and any man with eyes in his head can see that."

Monica felt her stomach drop to her toes. She wanted to savor those words, his voice, his lips. You are beautiful. But a guilty conscience hung heavily upon her. He's married. He's just being kind to a pathetic stranger; he would say that to anyone. You are not special.

She was suddenly uncomfortable with her outburst of emotion and hurriedly dried her cheeks with the back of her hand.

"Thank you, for those words and for listening. It seems my mother was right about my manners after all. I have always struggled with restraint. I'm sorry to burden you with my problems."

Chandler looked at the broken girl beside him and longed to speak a piece of his mind to the woman that did this to her.

"Hey now. We're friends and friends don't need to put on airs or keep their dirt under the rug. You can talk to me about anything whenever you need to. There's no use keeping all that hurt inside."

She nodded shyly. "Thank you." In an attempt to divert the conversation away from herself, she asked: "How did your family feel about you moving to Oregon?"

"Jess is the only family I've got. So I think they were agreeable." He smiled.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know …"

Chandler smiled again, wistfully.

"I was only 4 when my father got real sick. I don't remember much about him, except his dying. Within the next year, my mother was gone too. I heard some people say she died of a broken heart. I was sent to live with a widowed neighbor after that, but I spent most of my time at Daniel's house. So did our friend Joey; those two were like my brothers."

He paused, considering something. "I think that's the reason I've always wanted to get married and have children. I badly longed for a real family of my own and Jess has given me that."

At the mention of his wife, Monica inched further away; widening the gap between them. "You're both very lucky to have found each other. I only hope I will be as fortunate."

"You'll know true love when you find it. Trust me."

That's exactly what I'm afraid of, she thought to herself.


	3. Alcove Springs

**AN:** I'm sorry it took me quite awhile to update. I have the main points of the story outlined in my head, but I'm struggling with some of the in-between. Please let me know any feedback you might have!

* * *

Three weeks into their journey, the monotony of their day-to-day actions was wearing on everyone. As Monica prepared coffee for breakfast, she tried in vain to come up with a way to make cornmeal mush more interesting. Although, she mused to herself, just keeping dirt and bugs out of the food was enough of a challenge.

Daniel was by far the best marksman and they chiefly relied on him to return with fresh meat. The other men of the group were mostly farmers, unaccustomed to hunting. Ross, a businessman, was completely out of his element. As hard as they tried, they rarely returned with great success.

Despite these minor hardships, everyone knew they had been lucky so far. They crossed the Kansas River without incident and everyone was still in fairly good health.

* * *

"Chandler! Jess! Look! We must almost be there!" Becky cried out, pulling Ruth by the hand behind her.

Ever since Daniel told them they would be nearing Alcove Springs soon, Becky could hardly contain her excitement. Multitudes of wagons lay straight ahead, camped near the springs. As it grew closer, they all shared some of her enthusiasm. It was beautiful grove of trees and rocks, surrounding a romantic waterfall.

As they set up for the night, Rachel pulled Monica gently aside.

"Hi."

"Um, Hello."

"Monica, what's going on with you?"

She played dumb, "What do you mean? I'm just unrolling my mattress."

Rachel sighed, "Mon, is there anything you want to tell me about?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Is there something you want to tell **me** Rachel?"

"Monica, I see the way you look at him. I see the giant smile on your face after you two have been talking. I'm your best friend and I know you. That is the way you used to look at Richard."

Monica looked hurt at the mention of her former fiancée.

"It's nothing, Rachel. I promise. We are just friends."

"He's married. You don't want anyone getting the wrong idea."

"You almost told Ross you still loved him hours before he married Emily!"

"Shhhh!" Rachel glanced around to make sure no one had heard her and then sent a biting glare in Monica's direction. "It will be hard for us to start fresh if people learn about the past."

"I'm sorry. I don't think anyone heard."

The Pittsburgh fire of 1845 had hurt some of Ross's business, but the truth of the matter was that his romantic endeavors had cast a pall on his good name. He married Emily, she left him, and he became engaged to Rachel within a span of three years. To be engaged while his first wife was still living was shocking and unthinkable.

However what most people didn't understand was that Ross should have never married Emily in the first place; his heart had always belonged to Rachel. A falling out had driven them apart; Ross sought solace with Emily, and rushed into a marriage for all the wrong reasons. Rachel realized her true feelings too late to prevent his mistake.

It was true that their relationship had always been tumultuous and complex, but each stumbling block seemed to make their love stronger. Monica believed in it, and in them.

"I know that wasn't the same, Rach. I'm sorry I brought it up."

"It's okay," Rachel said as she gave her a hug. "I'm sorry I mentioned Richard. Just, please be careful, okay?"

Monica nodded. She saw Ross walked towards them, and turned to give Rachel and him some privacy. Lost in her thoughts, she walked straight into Daniel.

"Oh, I'm sorry!"

"No, no. It was my fault." Daniel grinned. Monica wondered whether their collision was really an accident after all.

"I was wondering whether you'd like to accompany me over to the springs? I thought I'd get the lay of the land." He smiled again, albeit more nervously.

Monica wanting to point out that Daniel had been there multiple times before, but chose to hold her tongue. He was a kind man. She felt guilty about constantly trying to avoid him. "That sounds lovely," she nodded politely, allowing him to lead the way.

Several other immigrants milled about the edges of the pond; the full moon brightly illuminating the splashing waterfall.

Daniel sat down on a wide, smooth rock and motioned for Monica to join him. She obliged. They sat quietly, taking in the beauty of the water and the woods. Daniel coughed nervously and Monica almost laughed aloud when she realized he was blushing. Who would have imagined this tall, rugged trail guide was so shy? His eyes caught her stare and he grinned again.

"You know you're a great cook, Monica."

"Are you trying to flatter me, Daniel Clark?" she asked, with a laugh.

"No, ma'am. I'm being sincere. Although I admit the men I've traveled with in the past aren't much competition. But you do wonders with bacon and bread."

"Well, thank you. From what I've heard, you're quite a crack shot."

And with that they lapsed into easy conversation, enjoying each other's company.

* * *

Chandler and Thomas stood at the back of a wagon, with Ross and Henry behind another, all consulting their stock of supplies; taking note of what they might need to replenish at the first fort. Nearby Caroline and Rachel were cleaning the cookware as best they could. Abigail sat by the campfire, writing in her diary, while James absentmindedly tossed pebbles into the flames. Jess and Catherine were readying Ruth and Becky for bed.

The three families had become intertwined, working side-by-side, caring for one another. That made the pain of their first tragedy all the more poignant.

* * *

**AN:** Hopefully you enjoyed the allusions to Friends canon I worked in here. :)


	4. Accidents

**AN: Sorry for my slowness in getting back to this story! I will try and update more frequently from here on out.**

Monica noticed that it had been steadily growing darker, the campfires in the distance were being extinguished for the night. She also noticed Daniel's hand inching closer to her knee and really wanted to avoid the awkwardness of denying even the most innocent advances. They were having a good time, but she still didn't feel romantically towards him.

"Well, it's getting late. We really should be getting back. They might be wondering where we are."

"Oh, yes. You're right ..." Daniel trailed off, looking into her eyes. Monica prayed that he wouldn't lean in to kiss her.

The sound of a gunshot startled them out of their respective thoughts. Her heart sank to her feet as Daniel leapt up.

Several shouts and cries could be heard. "Is it an Indian attack?" Monica asked in alarm. She had heard stories back home.

"No." Daniel said shaking his head, "It's probably nothing. Maybe a wild animal wandered to close to camp. Come on, let's go."

He took her hand protectively as they hurried back to their companions.

Monica's panic grew when she realized a group of strangers was gathered by one of their wagons.

"Ross?"

"Monica!"

As her brother emerged from the small crowd, she let go of Daniel and broke into a run. The siblings embraced tightly as Daniel hurried to the center of the commotion.

Monica let go and turned to take in what was going on. "What happened? Is Rachel okay? What about Abby and the other kids? Chandler?"

"They're all fine. It's Henry. There was an accident."

She noticed James, Abigail, and Ruth were being held back by Rachel and Caroline; fear in their young faces.

"We had been moving some stuff around in the wagon, taking inventory, Some rifles got put in the back on top of the blankets. Later when Henry pulled one out, the gun dropped and went off. The bullet is lodged in his chest."

"Will he be alright?"

"I don't know." But his face told her that he did.

"Me and Chandler moved him onto a mattress. Some young doctor from another camp is bandaging him up as best as he can."

"But he has to be okay. He has a family." Tears were beginning to blur her vision.

The travelers from nearby wagon trains began to disperse. A nervous young man clutching a medical bag was talking to Thomas. Catherine sat at Henry's side, his hand in hers.

"I recommend you rest here for awhile. Change the wrappings as they become soaked through ..."

As the doctor continued, Chandler and Daniel exchanged concerned looks. They knew the dangers of getting behind schedule; what happened to those who didn't make it through the mountains before winter set in. But they also didn't want to risk his chance of survival.

Henry stirred, breathing raggedly, before he fell back into unconsciousness.

* * *

The following day was full of waiting and worrying. A relentless darkness hung over the camp as Henry continued to grow weaker. It was dusk when he passed into the beyond. Thomas dug the grave himself; refusing the other men's offers to assist. Caroline wept as he filled the hole; not wanting to leave her son's body to rest in this strange and far away place. Catherine kept the children close; putting on the bravest face she could muster as she explained to Ruth that her father was not coming back.

It was hard to know how to continue, yet they knew they had to press forward; there was still so much ground to cover.

* * *

That night Monica wandered back to the edge of the grove, wrapping her shawl tightly around her as the wind rustled through the leaves. She was absently staring into the water when Chandler appeared by her side.

"Mind if I join you?"

"No."

They sat side by side in silence for a long time, each lost in their own thoughts about Henry's sudden death.

Monica was grieving for Caroline and the children. She blinked back salty tears as she recalled their faces; James' stoic gaze, Abigail's eyes averted from the grave, both tightly holding the hands of a confused Ruth. It wasn't fair. _What would they do once they got to Oregon? How can I help them? A_s is common in times of shock and sadness, she was also thinking of her own regrets, reminded that life is precious and time is fleeting. _Should I have married Richard after all? Will I ever see him again? What about my parents? I wish I had left on better terms._

Chandler too was considering mortality and regret. He had buried his parents as a young child. Watching Thomas today had tuned the tables; he and Caroline had to bury their only son. _Will I be able to protect my own child? Or Jess? Should I have risked their lives on this journey? _He could scarcely believe that Henry was truly gone; it all happened so fast. _If only we hadn't moved those supplies ... he would still be here. _He lowered his head to his hands, racked with guilt and grief.

"It's not your fault." Monica whispered, watching. Chandler glanced up with doubt in his eyes.

A little louder she said, "I know you think it is. And I know Ross does too. But it could have happened even if you all hadn't just rearranged things in the wagon."

Chandler looked the other way, unable to respond.

"Someone once told me that there's no use keeping the hurt inside." She smiled sadly and got a half-hearted grin in response.

"It just seems like we should have been able to prevent this, you know?"

"I think that's the way most accidents are, Chandler. It doesn't make it easy and it doesn't make it fair."

"You're damn right about that."


End file.
